This past Sunday I was feeling the familiar weight of sadness and anger heavy on my heart. I put things in front of me to distract myself from the feelings, but this anger towards God over my difficulty to have children sat there still, stewing under the surface.
During our Sunday evening service, we have a time of prayer and praise where people can share their needs and thanks. A dear friend that was recently diagnosed with cancer was there that night. She has been undergoing chemotherapy and has often had to miss church. But that evening she raised her hand and said “I’m thankful that I got to go to church twice today.” In the midst of her pain and struggle, she was intentional about recognizing the goodness God has shown towards her. And I realized what an ungrateful wretch I am.
I live in anger towards God over this one struggle and completely disregard the countless blessings He has given me just today – not to mention over the course of my life. I justify my unthankfulness with my difficult circumstances. I get so caught up in myself that I forget what He has done. I get so blinded by the momentary afflictions that I lose sight of the eternal story.
No matter the depth of our pains in this fallen world, there is always something to be thankful for. First and foremost, God has given us His Son for our salvation. If that were all He ever gave us, we could never thank Him enough. Though we feel alone and unfulfilled, though our bodies waste away, though our families and friends separate and disperse, we always have the sure salvation that is available through Jesus. But we have so much more – life and breath, each new day that breaks, and more. May we be intentional about remembering what the Lord has done and giving Him His due praise.
I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.